It's December...

... and I haven't blogged in pretty much forever!

A lot has happened, and I'm learning a lot...

Hopefully I'll be visiting this spot more often.

I Learned Something Today & Had Fun While Learning It...

Today, church was just fun. It was just fun! I don't know what the difference was. I think I'm just learning to go with the flow without stressing. Like, Tee needed a ride today & usually it hecka bugs me when people wait for the last minute to ask for a ride. Now I'll be late, but I just said, yeah, sure, its cool. And I wasn't stressed :)

On the way to pick up Tee, I asked if Squeeks wanted a ride to his church too. He said yeah, so we got all loaded up. I dropped him off at the corner. We're even more late, and... I wasn't stressed :)

Driving down the freeway with Tee - still late - we're talking, chillin, laughing. And guess what I wasn't? Stressed :)

Finally at church. Sound check is kind of going on, where's Ant - he's teaching class? gotta help Tara, BJ is no where to be found, and it's all good. We didn't get in a good practice yesterday for the band, but, hey, I just went with it, and I had so much fun! I mean, Manny is a musical genius. The transition from Still into From the Inside Out was so good, I had fun doing it. I was smiling alot during worship today & just went with the flow, even though I mostly didn't know what I was doing... and I wasn't stressed :)

Well, the moral of the story - what I learned today - is really quite a basic thing to know mentally, but for me, much more difficult to apply practically: Why stress over things that, as of right now, cannot be changed? Someone's gotta pick up Tee - that's not gonna change, so why stress? BJ's not here yet - can't do anything to change that, so why stress? Worship team didn't get to practice - well, we ain't gettin one right now, so why stress? Life is much more fun sans stressing, and today was a lesson well learned. I had a lot of fun.

A Beautiful Spirit = A Giving Spirit

As Jesus looked up, he saw some rich people putting their gifts into the Temple money box. Then he saw a poor widow putting two smaller copper coins into the box. He said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow gave more than all those rich people."

- Luke 21:1-3

This story encourages me every time I read it. Even if I don't have much to give, what I DO give cheerfully, He will bless and honor! This story reminds me of a family I saw on Extreme Home Makeover (which, by the way, always makes me cry for days!). They live in Oahu, and they have an organization that helps the community and the families & children in it. They didn't have much at all for themselves - their house was falling apart & about to fall into a river. The parents could barely make ends meet for their kids, and yet these are the very people running a shelter, a day care - giving to others incessantly. 

How beautiful is the spirit of those who give unselfishly and unceasingly. Although they cannot give monetarily, they give something of much more value: they give of their spirit, and they do it with love. (1 Corinthians 13:1 - without love, we do nothing but make loud noise - it accomplishes nothing.)

How much more valuable is the poor person's offering of $1.00 - all they have, than the rich person's offering of $1.00 - the least of their many possessions?

Fresh Manna

Well, I just woke up, oddly enough. Its 5:00 AM on the dot, and if any of you all know me, Im NOT naturally a morning person...

The spiritual warfare is strong. Well, since I'm up, I'll read today's journal:

- Luke 5:2 - even though there was chaos & people all around him, Jesus still saw the boats. He still sees YOU. No detail is too minute for Him.

- 5:3 - God will use whatever He sees that you have to offer: a boat, a dollar, a hand.

- 5:4 - They had to move the location of the boat - to "deep water" - in order to see change. Realize this did not require simply pressing a button, or just by chance catching the wind at the right time to whisk them away... Taking that boat back out to sea was a laborious process - one we know they had JUST completed, as the boats sat at harbor.

- 5:5 - Are you that quick to do what He says? Peter didn't even know Jesus or His character yet, but he STILL was that quick to obey. "Sounds weird, but if You say to do it then... OK, of course I will."

- 5:8 - You know you're in the true presence of God when people begin to confess, unprompted, of their own volition.

- 5:11 - They left it all to follow Jesus. This was right after they got that HUGE catch - the catch of their lives - the right time to turn a profit. Please realize then, that following Jesus cost them the largest profit-making day of their lives. People are always willing to follow a God they cannot see when things are hard - there is no fish, no profit, no where to stay. Are you willing to follow Him when times ARE good? When you have what you need, when you are provided for? These 3 men became the closest to men to Jesus - His best friends and disciples... Follow Him in the bad times, but follow more closely in the good. 

- 5:16 - Jesus knew the importance of corem deo with His Father - remaining face to face. Even when people were screaming His Name & He was the biggest celebrity (which He WAS!) He would still make sure to steal away & find His secret place. How much more important is it then for me to do the same?

Lord, help me to consider these things today as I go about my schedule. Interrupt my day and show me where You want me to go; what You want me to do. I love that song that says, "Where You go, I go; What You say, I say." Let that be my anthem today. I love You and I know You have Your hand & Your protection over my body and mind. With You by my side there is no such thing as failure.

Saturday Night...

Well, Santos & I went on an actual planned "date". We never really plan them, we just kind of hang out when we can. But there was a carnival this weekend in Milpitas by our church & we wanted to check it out. So, the date was made!

Saturday night, we walk into the carnival and take a look at what's around: lots of food, rides and those bright carnival lights. All the rides are the spinning kind - the kind that make both Santz & I a little... queasy. I was a little bummed there's no ferris wheel; would've been a great picture :) We see 2 of those walk-through kinds of "rides" & decide that that's what we'll do. Now let's see... each "ride" is 4 tickets per person, so that's 8 tickets for both of us to do 1 ride, times 2 rides... ok so 16 tickets. Get to the front of the line & see that 1 ticket = $1.00... "Alright, I'm not paying $16 to walk through some lil mirror house!" We decide to only do ONE walk-through attraction so we buy 8 tickets. As we stroll over to the clown house, which I was guessing was like a mirror house; "Hey, this should be fun..." We go up to the ticket-taker-guy & he looks at us, "You don't want to go in here... I just can't let you do that." Haha I can't believe the worker didnt even want us to go in it because it was so jank! Alright, so we go over to the other walk-through "ride" which is a "scary" haunted house thing. We go over to the ticket-taker-guy and he looks at us holding out our 8 tickets and says, "I can't do that to you guys. It's hella boring... Um, here, just gimme 4. Don't tell anyone, ok!" Haha that's twice! And yes he was right. It was "hella boring", haha! So the whole carnival was hilariously pathetic... BUT we had so much fun! Laughing and NOT spending much money = perfect :) Great date Santz, I loved it. Saturday night... was perfect.

Perspective is Everything

It has been almost a month since I last posted a blog on here... I guess I better get to it!

I heard a song today that I haven't heard in a really long time. (I get inspired by music a lot; can you tell?) I had my iPod plugged 

into my brand new Radio/CD/MP3 system in my car (yes, it's a beauty!) and this Amy Grant song starts playing. I first heard her songs when Karly & I were sharing a room & she had the cassette tape of hers, "Heart in Motion". This song is a lesser known song of hers; not quite as catchy as "Baby Baby" or idealistic as "Every Heartbeat". It's called "How Can We See That Far":

... The same sun that melts the wax can harden clay,

And the same rain that drowns the rat can grow the hay,

And the mighty wind that knocks us down - IF we lean into it -

Can drive our fears away...

See, it all depends on how you look at things. The sun can melt things, making them softer, but it can also harden things into brick. Rain can bring devastation, but it is also the thing that brings the fresh crop of provision. Wind can be so strong that we loose our balance, but if you lean your body into the wind, freedom is found in letting go & trusting that it will catch you. Perspective is everything. It all depends on how you see the situation. The sun is hot on some days, but without it, the earth would freeze over. The trial may be hard for a few days, weeks, months, years. But without it, who knows where your path would otherwise end up? We've got to look at things in the positive. Perspective is everything.

God Is God

God is God, and I am not

I can only see a part

Of the picture He's painting

God is God and I am man,

So I'll never understand it all

For only God is God.

These are some of the most impactful and memorable lyrics of my whole life. They come from a song called "God is God" by one of my favorite artists, Steven Curtis Chapman. 

When I was a freshman in high school, my grandma was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor called a gliboblastoma. It was terminal, and there was nothing the doctors could do to save her. It was so painful to watch her regress into a little girl, trying to remember and relearn how to do basic, everyday tasks. My mom was her main caretaker, and wow, did it take a toll on her. My whole family was visibly hurt by my mom's absence.

The doctors performed a brain surgery to remove the growth, but there was no way to reach the root of it & take it out entirely. So, with the roots still intact, my grandma was her normal self for a few weeks. But the tumor would not relent, and soon she was back to the little girl trying to remember and relearn. My grandma Isabel passed away that year. It was one of the hardest years of my life.

We would take her to hospitals that were quite a distance away - I think Redwood City?  I remember so vividly - one late night we were driving back home from the hospital. My grandma was spending the night in the hospital so it was just me & my mom in the car. The song "God is God" started playing. My mom began to sing and as she did, tears started streaming down her face. She didn't have to explain anything to me. See, the song is simply about a person going through something incredibly tough. And although they can't see all the answers or understand why God does what He does, the person is still giving God the permission to intervene and the honor that says, "Win or lose, we praise Him."

This song will forever spark immense emotion in me. My mom was a picture of Christ to me that night. No matter what happened to Jesus -  "Not my will Father, but Your will be done..."

We cannot understand the ways of God. We cannot always know WHY. But we must have the faith to say that God is God, whether I can see the big picture or not. 

An Epiphany

"... When the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him." - Isaiah 59:19

The Hebrew word for “flood” here is nahar. It means a stream or river. I assumed it would mean a gigantic, overflowing pool of water that is unstoppable & inconquerable. But no. The BEST the enemy can do – his idea of a flood – is a little ol stream. 

Look at these pictures. 

Now tell me, what is a little stream in comparison to the One who made entire OCEANS!

The Hebrew word for “lift up a standard” here is nuwc (“noos”). It means to escape, depart, disappear, put to flight. God will dissipate the floods of the enemy, and allow you to escape without knick or scratch under His covering.

When the enemy is threatening attack, remember this verse and realize the infinite ability of your God, versus the pathetic streams of the devil. And just as all rivers must run into the ocean, so will the enemy HAVE TO return to the Ocean and succumb to It's ebb and flow. 

Lord, raise Your standard! Amen

A Drink from the River

Well, as God keeps moving, speaking & shaking things up, I think we sometimes figure, "Well I got my fill for today... I should be good for a month." Nope. What I've learned as this whole move of God continues is that even when WE think we've gotten our fresh drink of water for the day, God is still not done. While we worship, what we're doing is getting a cup & dipping it in the river to get a drink. But even when that cup is empty and you've taken your drink, is the river dried up? No, its still running and twisting and turning beyond your control. God is not done just because YOU are done. He is still working and flowing. It is now up to us to go to the River each day and get a new drink of living water.

"What I love most about rivers is, you can't step in the same river twice."

                                                                                                         - Pocahantas

toothpastefordinner.com

I Did It!

The Fuse was awesome tonight. Service was good, but post-service was... well, it was God.

See, lately, I've been doubting so much! Like, is this where I want to go? What is my life's grand purpose? Really, what  is my passion? Usually when people ask me that, I say its dance, because that's always been my auto-pilot response. But lately I've been really doubting the truth of that response. What IS my passion? What do I want to do? Many times in my life, I have wanted to dance before the Lord in worship, but I never do for fear of looking weird, or even not wanting to distract people.

Let me backtrack a bit... Recently, our church has just exploded in worship. There's a new freedom to worship exactly how you want to worship. There's a guy named DJ & his way of worship is dance. I'm not talking about swaying side to side or even simply jumping up & down. I mean full-on krumping. Hands, arms, feet going crazy for the Lord. Seeing him be able to really, fully worship like that reopened the desire in me to do the same in dance. Last night at the end of his sermon, P. Nick just wanted to get into worship because as he was speaking, God was telling him 3 words: "Never the Same". After being in the presence of God, it is impossible for you to be the same - a change has to be made. Troy & I led worship for a while, and it was good, it was probably the most flowy (if you know what I mean) we've ever been. We worked as a team & allowed God to take over. But I was getting frustrated. It's hard for me to focus on singing, focus on playing the piano, and focus on God all at the same time. I wanted to just worship. P. Nick prayed & dismissed anyone who had to leave. After that, everyone kind of just didn't want to leave His presence. We wanted a "Never the Same" Experience. We put on some worship from Kim Walker & Jesus Culture and one by one, all the lights were turned off until it was Morning Prayer Black in there. As people prayed and worshiped and danced and sang and shouted, you could just feel Freedom entering the room. It was beautiful to look around & see all the ways people worship God. And as I was able to just worship, no microphones, no piano, no sheet music, I did it. I danced. And it was the best worship I've ever had. It was the quickest entrance I've ever made into the presence of God. My gut feeling about dance in worship was right, this whole time! It was almost a scary thing to know that, yes, this is what I was made to do. Just 30 seconds of dancing before the Lord re-ignited 2 years of lost passion.

So dance, scream, shout, skip, sing... whatever YOU have to do to get into HIS presence.

1 Year!

Yesterday, August 7th, Santos and I celebrated our 1st year together. It may not seem like a big deal to everyone, but to us, it means so much. Neither of us have been in a relationship like this before, and it's not easy, but we are always learning more & more.
He took me to Benihaha's in Burlingame. He brought me flowers & we just had such a good time being out together. He looked fiiiine, too :)

So, Happy Anniversary Santz! Just the first of many.

Friday night update

Well tonight me & Beena took the reigns for The Fuse Bible Study. I was a little nervous about it only cause this week was pretty booked & we couldn't get together and I barely even had time to study. But at the same time, I wasn't that nervous cause I know God is on the move lately & the night would go however He wanted it to.
To open up, we did sort of a Reality in a Box, but just switched up a bit. Erik & Anthony helped us out - we all gave a really condensed version of our testimony; the areas where we struggled to attain purity. Whether it was mental, sexual or spiritual purity or purity of the heart, we all shared with passion. I went on to explain the reason for sharing the impurities in our lives. Anything we think or do that is contrary to the Word of God creates impurity in our lives.
For altar call, we did a song called Start A Fire. It was cool that we did that song; I hadn't heard it in a long time, but I've always loved that song. I was singing by myself, just me & piano. Part of me wanted to be nervous cause I don't like to sing alone, but God is helping me learn to rely on Him in worship times just as much as I would in any other situation. So I decided to relax & enjoy the song I love so much. As I did, God reminded me of one of the lines in the song - it says, "Burn away the dross, holy fire of God." I remember the 1st time I heard that song, I didn't really know what that meant, so I decided to look it up. I'm glad I did cause it came in handy tonight. When transforming gold from earthen mineral to precious metal they place the mineral form over a flame & just keep turning up the heat. When they do this, all the impurities come out. They have to come out, they have no choice. Dross is all the impurities that are burned out, so that the gold becomes more precious, more perfected. I shared this with everyone, and after that, I guess I felt more... prophetic? I don't know, something kind of changed.
Anyway, it was just a great night. Thank You, Lord!

Tuning In...

Let's start from the beginning: Hi. My name is Amanda. Well, I've been blogging for a long time... but never on my own blog, only other peoples! It's a little weird. Ever since my boyfriend put the idea in my head to start my own, well, I just couldn't shake it.

Why "Tune In"? There are so many areas of life that are available to tune into, should we CHOOSE to run along those wavelengths. We tune into a TV station, a radio station, Podcast, YouTube. What about tuning into the more valuable things in life? Don't get me wrong... I'm not perfect at this either. I got shows I love to watch (Project Runway, The Office, etc). I listen to music all day and night. I am working on this same area! There is one thing I want to get really good at though: tuning into God's voice. Whether this is through worship or the Word, this has to be my first priority.

So, I don't know how this blogging thing will turn out, but hey, it's worth a shot, don't you think?