8.16.2008

I Did It!

The Fuse was awesome tonight. Service was good, but post-service was... well, it was God.
See, lately, I've been doubting so much! Like, is this where I want to go? What is my life's grand purpose? Really, what  is my passion? Usually when people ask me that, I say its dance, because that's always been my auto-pilot response. But lately I've been really doubting the truth of that response. What IS my passion? What do I want to do? Many times in my life, I have wanted to dance before the Lord in worship, but I never do for fear of looking weird, or even not wanting to distract people.
Let me backtrack a bit... Recently, our church has just exploded in worship. There's a new freedom to worship exactly how you want to worship. There's a guy named DJ & his way of worship is dance. I'm not talking about swaying side to side or even simply jumping up & down. I mean full-on krumping. Hands, arms, feet going crazy for the Lord. Seeing him be able to really, fully worship like that reopened the desire in me to do the same in dance. Last night at the end of his sermon, P. Nick just wanted to get into worship because as he was speaking, God was telling him 3 words: "Never the Same". After being in the presence of God, it is impossible for you to be the same - a change has to be made. Troy & I led worship for a while, and it was good, it was probably the most flowy (if you know what I mean) we've ever been. We worked as a team & allowed God to take over. But I was getting frustrated. It's hard for me to focus on singing, focus on playing the piano, and focus on God all at the same time. I wanted to just worship. P. Nick prayed & dismissed anyone who had to leave. After that, everyone kind of just didn't want to leave His presence. We wanted a "Never the Same" Experience. We put on some worship from Kim Walker & Jesus Culture and one by one, all the lights were turned off until it was Morning Prayer Black in there. As people prayed and worshiped and danced and sang and shouted, you could just feel Freedom entering the room. It was beautiful to look around & see all the ways people worship God. And as I was able to just worship, no microphones, no piano, no sheet music, I did it. I danced. And it was the best worship I've ever had. It was the quickest entrance I've ever made into the presence of God. My gut feeling about dance in worship was right, this whole time! It was almost a scary thing to know that, yes, this is what I was made to do. Just 30 seconds of dancing before the Lord re-ignited 2 years of lost passion.
So dance, scream, shout, skip, sing... whatever YOU have to do to get into HIS presence.

1 comment:

Santos Samayoa aka SantZ, Chato...hey it's still me said...

WOW!! thats all i could say or think as i read your post. you had me stuck from beginning to end. Im so proud that you were able to worship God the way you know how. i know this wont be the last time either. you blessed me!!